I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Randomize
