yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
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