Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Randomize
