I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
