When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
