saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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