its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
