You're a womanizer and a bitch.
My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize