Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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