the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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