Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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