What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Randomize
