Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
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