:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Randomize
