did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
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