I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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