I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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