We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
