Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
