I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
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