i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
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