She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
