shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
