Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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