we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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