Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Randomize
