glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
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