I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
