Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Randomize
