You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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