we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Randomize