You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
