I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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