i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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