'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Randomize