i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
