Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
My dad just said "fuck circus"
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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