"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
