on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
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