You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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