i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Randomize
