Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Randomize
