the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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