There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
