you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
