last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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