A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize