I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
