My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
