u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize
