You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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