How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
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