i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
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