just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
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