I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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