So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I want a musical about memes.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
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