did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Randomize