Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
