The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
I think I just sharted jello shots
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