is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Randomize
