dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
a search helicopter?!
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Someone came in the potted fern
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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