I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
