you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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